That's in the morning, mind you... and yes, I am smoking a bowl... but it's to try and fall back asleep... I've been up in bed since 3... My mind can't find a warm squishy place... it's either too hot or too cold... For some reason, I kept thinking about skillet bowls in the middle of being half asleep and half awake... I keep dreaming about glass, and it's seriously fucking me up... I never thought it would be such a problem, but holy shit... I can't get out of that FUCKING STORE... I'm going to fucking kill someone soon if I can't relax FOR ONE GODDAMN NIGHT...

I can't stand these people who come in weekly or so just to talk about the most mundane things... glass blowers, glass companies, new glass products... wasting not-so-valuable time socializing with me for a good 20-30 minutes, JUST SO THEY CAN BUY PAPERS...

I will break these peoples skulls in with the closest weapon I have...

You know what it is?

A FUCKING BONG...

FUCK!!!

See? See that? I don't want to talk about work... I would love to talk about not work... But it keeps coming back up!! I want to talk about other things... Funny, horrible and gross things... Or beautiful, awesome and dynamic things... Since I'm not really drawing right now, words are my only form of expression, and I've never been a very good "word" person...

My mom always told me in her broken english that actions speak louder than words... "Don't tell me... Show me..." she'd say... I took it to heart, and now I suck at explaining myself... I liked myself better when I was a fake artist... Tracing... at least then I was creating something... new... Reinventing myself, one trace at a time...

I miss my mom... and my dad... FUCK! How did it get so lonely out here? AND my stupid fucking sister doesn't even live here either... Everyone I grew up with, save my Uncle, is gone... Miles and miles away... I feel small... Like a leech... Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown... This time I'm coming down... The drugs don't work, they just make you worse, but I know I'll see your face again...

The pot's not helping me fall back asleep... It's just opening up my mind more to where my life stands... Is it time for coffee yet?